Do the limbo
January 3, 2006
You may have seen the news that those Krazy Katholics are planning to get rid of the Wacky World of Limbo (see, for example, “Limbo consigned to history books“, or “Limbo, an Afterlife Tradition, May Be Doomed by the Vatican“). Limbo, as you may recall, is that eternal afterlife holding pen for those — primarily, unbaptized babies, and those who never had the opportunity to hear the Good News that Jesus died for our sins — who don’t have the official clearance for heaven, but for whom hell seems, you know, kind of harsh. And for pretty much my whole memory, there’s been a sense of a kind of metaphysical embarrassment about limbo. Apparently, that embarrassment is coming to a head, and is about to be popped like a big theological zit.
Trouble is, it’s not limbo that’s the problem — it’s the other parts of Xianity that seem to require it. After all, original sin means we’re all born dirty, and have to be cleaned the baptismal water of forgiveness in order to not be condemned, right? And unbaptized babies (and those who never have the opportunity to hear The Word — depends on how liberal you are) are uncleansed. As a tactic of fear and manipulation, you understand this doctrine — you can’t just opt out, and better get yourself and your offspring under the watchful eye and cleansing magic of your local priest, or you’re totally screwed for all eternity. But once your put this dogma in your pack, you have the obvious moral tension: Even if you think rejecting the Big Invisible Friend should condemn you to hell, it’s hard to think that those who never have even the opportunity to do so (those babies and nice ignorant heathens again) should be tortured in eternal hell-fire by a decent and caring Daddy. 
So, original sin plus babies and nice but ignorant heathens bring to the surface the moral horror of the script according to Jehovah: Nice people who’ve done nothing wrong and have not turned their backs on God in any way being send to eternal torture and damnation. And that’s, to most people with a shred of the moral law within them, really bad, and make God look like a horrible, immoral, and arbitrary dictator.
So, the Krazy Katholic solution of limbo — “hey, we’ll just make and exception for them, and let them have a peaceful if not heavenly post-death” — isn’t the wacky part. In fact, it makes pretty good sense, if you’re already committed to the absurd “original sin” idea (which is both central and — as noted above — instrumental to the Xian way), but can’t quite get yourself to morally embrace the eternal torture of utter innocents. Add even the tiniest grain of moral sense to the nihilistically foul doctrine of original sin, and you need something like limbo.
And as for all those previous infallible Popes who seemed to endorse limbo, I leave it to the Vatican to work out the apologetic line: Different parallel universes? Used to be limbo, but God decommissioned it in the metaphysical retooling? God goes back in time, and keeps himself from inventing limbo?
Like I say: Maybe limbo isn’t the problem.
